My boss then walked in my office so i couldnt talk further and he was heading into a meeting as well…He then said he will call me later so we can continue the conversation and for me not to give up on him……………………………………………. I know i cant go back to that. Oh Kendra I hope you stay far far far away from him because you know as soon as he has you again he will revert back to type its a game on his part. In fact, he is a known pest.
He past performance has won him how much consideration and politeness from you? He is stalking you. Complain to your supervisor about his harassing you at work — explain that his attempts to contact you are upsetting, that he is making it difficult for you to work, that you are uninterested in talking to him, his behavior — shifting around in the meeting — is upsetting and distracting.
There are protections from guys using company time to harass and intimidate and bully people. The way he is bullying and harassing you. This is serious stuff. You need your supervisor to step in, the topic is sexual harassment, explain you want assistance getting the guy to behave in a professional manner, and not a slavering pervert in the back room of a seedy bar! You and he have proved, time and again, that he is unable and unwilling to hear what you have to say.
No contact means no contact. Complaining about harassment to your supervisor should earn him a warning from his boss. If he is bright enough to shut up and straighten out his act, great. That would be unsuitable and illegal behavior. The company deserves notice of his improper behavior, and you would be betraying your company to withhold information about his abuse of company time and resources for his sordid personal life. You are not relaxing and preparing for another day of work — you are panicked about dealing with his shenanigans.
You owe it to yourself and to your company to identify this wart as a sexual harasser. When speaking with him, always count off 10 seconds before every reply or statement to him. Never repeat anything, instead just keep silent. That would be my advice.
Protect yourself from him, and stop rewarding him with your time, your attention, and with your conversation. You are just encouraging him. No Contact, dear, No Contact. It is safer that way. Thanks for your input and advice. You all are absolutely pct correct. I have no intentions of entertaining going back to him. Not to mention since I now realize that the son and the moon does NOT set on him Im no longer blinded by the glare.
On Off Relationships
I rather deal with him in short doses.. Rest assured Im not going back to this twisted, mental man!!! I have been with this guy for one and a half years. A week ago he broke up with me after an argument we had the night before and he did it over the phone. He was very cruel saying he never wanted to see me again that i am at fault for everything and that i should live with the consequences. I know he is still hung up on his ex who is 20 years older than he is she is 60 by the way and they were together for 15 years. Many of our previous arguments were about him dissapearing or lying about where he was — when the evidence showed he was lying.
He always denied any wrong doing. Yet he always said that he would never tell her — the ex he has a girlfriend and he was always very controlling of when he would and would not see me. So a few days or so after every argument — apart from one of them where i was fed up i would call him and ask to talk — we would meet up and get back together nothing resolved though.
I love him very much but he was always evasive about any future commitment. He was always controlling moody and miserable — saying that he feels trapped and pressured but would never explain why. Anything i had at his place was always kept tucked away in draws when i left.
The last argument was actually started by me. So i said to him then why do you get into relationships his answer was he likes companionship. I told him he was contradicting himself and all hell broke loose. He called me selfish he said i was pressuiring him for the next step and that i wanted my own way at any cost. The next morning i called him to see if he was ok and that the night before was not so pleasant etc. So he dissapears for a couple of days and when i call him he breaks up with me over the phone as per each other time.
Boomerang Relationships & The Yo-Yo Girl - Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue
He said its all my fault and that he would call me in a week to bring over my stuff. A few days before we were together all weekend and he said that i was the type he had been looking for and he loved me very much i am heart broken. How could he throw away what we have like that over a phone call.
Its like i am waiting for him to come back into my life — at least i want us to go away together.
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He is still involved with the 60 year old in the past when he has dissapeared i have found out they were both on vacation leave from work. Once she called his mobile 9: There are many many examples. Kendra, you have to know your own company. OSHA calls this sexual harassment, and hostile work environment. If this guy keeps stalking you, there is no limit to where it can go — and your supervisor, not HR, deserves a heads-up on what is going on.
And you deserve the protection. So what how do you explain a dread about answering your phone or checking email, just in case it is this guy? Ask yourself, does keeping quiet feel, just a bit, like you are enabling his antisocial behavior? You have to know who you work for, and which is the least risk to you, your emotional health, and your job.
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Elena, Actually, I think you were pressuring him to move beyond companionship towards a relationship. I am more concerned that he disappears, that he has broken up before, than whether he still continues with an old flame, or picks up others.
As long as he sees himself as a guy having sex probably a life-long plan for him, given his history and his statements , he will bounce from one happy, temporary bed to another. No, he is not going to change.
But he likely never will. Last time I went to Wal-Mart I noticed the shopping cart crew the hard workers that gather up carts from around the parking lot. Each is important to Wal-Mart. Some of the people on the shopping cart crew move to other positions, to cashier or some area of the store, maybe into management.
But they move on from the shopping cart crew fairly quickly. The rest of the crew? They drift in, drift off to other work, maybe return. Kind of like your guy. If he were interested in a family, if he were looking for a life-mate, he would have moved toward making a family — by being a mate to you, by respecting you and treasuring you as a life-mate should be treasured. Instead you get worry, you get disrespect, his actions and words hurt you, and you start to doubt whether your dreams and needs are worthwhile or wholesome. Wish him well, do your grieving over the loss of this part of your life.
Read on this site about the No Contact Rule, probably talk to a grief counselor to help you understand about loss, about your emotional reaction and physical symptoms to the loss of one you have loved. And it is grief, whether you lose one to death or separation. Cherish your affection for him, but face the objective truth that if he changes, it will not be from anything you do. It is time now to face your own healing, and anger, and denial, and, sometime, acceptance.
I have maintained NC now for 4 weeks.
Boomerang Relationships & The Yo-Yo Girl
I feel better but I still have my moments. I know it will get easier in time. The thing that gets me is even though the fool I was dealing told me to stay away and to leave him alone which I have been doing and a day at a time intend to do I also know that there will be a day when he will contact me again. Debbie, there is a good chance that he will one day — and? What difference will that make? I am convinced when he makes contact, you will jump and the whole circus will start over.
Is this really what you want? For your own good I hope the fool will never contact you, so that you can move on. Stop waiting on this man, stop putting your life on hold. I do try to keep myself as busy as possible. I was nothing but good to this man. I know it will get better in time and I have started going out doing different things with other people. It will just take time. Debbie, it will get better with time. Leave him alone, he told you to leave him alone, it will never work. Keep busy, stick with NC.
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I have known for awhile now that a relationship with this man would never work I guess I was just caught up in the fantasy of what might have been.